Blog Gas
The blogging phenomenon has really caught up among suave Indians. Internet is a costly technology for a country like India & people who have access are usually from the upper crust of the society. What initially started as an indulgence of computer nerds to hype the free software modules they developed (which don’t seem to work anywhere outside the developers computer) caught up with the rich & trendy internet surfer wanting to fart his pseudo-intellectual commentaries on other peoples’ faces. And now, the gas released by pretentious fame-hog bloggers from urban India is threatening to be a big factor in global (or India) warming.
Gas released from Banagalore Blogs is already a significant part of the smog in the city. Having the highest ‘computers per person’ ratio in the nation, police maamas are forced to carry Gelusil to battle blogging which is reaching epidemic proportions here. They adopt a simple formula to combat gassy bloggers: the ones in denim and T-shirt have a couple pills shoved down their throats; ones wearing cotton kurtas and flip flops lurking around the many coffee cafés get the double dose of pills and a bottle of the liquid forced down their pie-hole; students from the popular downtown colleges (like Joseph’s, Cottons, Christ …) are known to be the gassiest and have six of the suppository version of the antacid piped up their bum. (That’s what you get for being ANAL on your blog.)
(Edited from www.londonstimes.us/toons/cartoons/richdiesslin_gas_mask.gif)
The smart entrepreneur in Bangalore is profiting from the phenomenon. Competing with the up-market restaurant “A Pinch of Jazz” (located in Manipal center) is the restaurant amenable to neo-bloggers named “A Pinch of Gas”. Challenging “Purple Haze” on residency road is “Gas Haze: The Bloggers Pub”. Even the Gay pubs in Bangalore are adopting the new blog mantra. If you are a faggot & you blog, try “UrAnus”, newly opened next to “NASA” on Church Street.
Due to Global warming (attributed largely to Blog Gas), ice in the upper Himalayas is melting at alarming rates. However, environmental scientists at IISC have found an upside to ‘all that gas’. In a joint research project with the civil and geology departments, they have found a way to route the burgeoning rivers in the north to southern rivers like the Krishna and Cauvery, making them perennial. Rumor has it that the Indian intelligence agency, RAW, is planning to fund the gassiest bloggers in the nation to increase their posting rates to cause a surge in blog gas whose effect will melt enough ice to flash flood low lying plains along the Indus river located in Pakistan!! Go RAW. Go India, blog fart the pakis to perdition.
