This Nigga Cant Sing

While I've never ever seen the show American Idol, or its crass-er Indian counterpart, I am constantly FORCE-FED news about it from all forms of media, giving new meaning to the prefix, 'multi'. And by God, if you forget to keep the remote next to you while trying to have a peaceful (CNN) news dinner, you'll pass out when the entertainment section comes up. And I did, the other day, when the so called 'counter racism' by Indians on American Idol was covered, and in those opiate moments before my senses gave up, the name Sanjaya Malakar seemed to have been etched in my memory. The next day, when I finally got over the fact that 'entertainment' was actually called 'news', especially the like of American Idol and its counter-racist dramas, I thought I'd see for myself what the hoopla was all about. While Google is still struggling to scan its videos on youtube (BTW, what gave this crap site a value of $550 mil?) and google-videos for copyright violations and having its legal representatives fight off the sharks of the entertainment industry, namely ViaCom, Turner Broadcasting, Rupert Futhamucker Murdoch et al,. I thought I'd dig in while the free 'shit' lasts and searched for Sanjaya Malakar. I'm not misspelling his name, yes, the A at the end of Sanjaya is on purpose. I guess his 'Indian' dad and 'American' mom knew they'd procreated a fruitcake and said, "Well, we might as well give him, what is traditionally, a GIRL's name". And boy, does he live up to his parent's purposeful misnomer-ification. Apart from incessantly fixating a 'plastic, Beverly-Hills-Princess' style smile, this androgynous creature also 'does his hair' and takes interest in the 'culinary arts'. Here is how he really looks/acts. I cant really tell the difference between him and his sister.



While I fight off a strong urge to 'Flag (the content) as Inappropriate' on youtube, I move on to the real issue of how the expatriate Indian community seemed to have embraced him! Yes, we INDIANS are a homophobic people (though I don't subscribe to my community's cliches :))). It isn't 'cool' to be gay or meterosexual or androgynous in India. Heck, sensitivity is scorned upon as a lack of virility! No Indian dad dreams of his son growing up to be a (gay) hairstylist, Chef or popstar even. Have you ever heard of an Indian GAY parade or pride? And thats why it struck me hard when Indians in the US came home from their (moribund) software jobs, sat down in front of the tele with their daal-rootis and watched Sanjaya's show as a family (god save the kids), and promptly voted for him (over his sister!!! WTF were you thinking!) even though he was among the worst contenders towards the finals. Apparently, it was a knee jerk reaction to rednecks in Texas sayin 'This Nigga cant sing'. I dont buy any of that, as a people, we're as racist and separatist as they come, racially prompted or not, Indians would have voted for him!

And while a mediocre kid rides his luck for coming from an overly proud minority, I wonder what other American Indian kids are learning about 'idols', be it from their own or other communities. I wonder what their parents are gonna say when one of em goes, 'daddy, I wanna be like him'. Be what? Androgynous? Mediocre? Misguided? Although, I have to give the kid this, he is brave and unconventional for a person of Indian orign, albeit American. While his other Indian schoolmates are busy winning spelling bees and competing for 'American Nerd', he has the balls to pursue what HE likes. And he has great long-shaggy hair, like mine! Go Sanjay - aaaa.